There's Always Hope, No Matter What
by stocktonwood
Summary: A series of introspective vignettes based on the occurrences of the TMNT animated series episode entitled, "Same As It Never Was."


_Author's Note: Howdy ya'll and welcome to the first chapter in a series of introspective vignettes based on the occurrences of the episode "Same As It Never Was," from the TMNT Animated Series._

_Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT or any of the characters involved in that universe. Much to my chagrin. So don't sue me because honestly there's nothing I have that anyone else could possibly want._

_Now that all those unpleasant legalities are out of the way...please enjoy_

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"There's Always Hope, No Matter What."

Chapter One: Reunion

"All right Raph, I'm through talking let's settle this once and for all."

Fine, if that coward wanted a fight, I'd give him a fight! That son of a bitch was gonna get it for all those years I went easy on him.

I was all set for rearranging the features on that ugly mug when outta nowhere some chump with a bo staff knocks us both on our asses.

Now, I ain't a complicated guy; if you're such a coward that you let your own father die when you coulda saved him, I kick your ass; if you interrupt me while I'm kicking that coward's ass, I kick your ass too. And I was all set to do just that when the chump with the staff moved into the light and then, for a second it was like I couldn't breath.

I was going nuts!

I had to be, there was no way it was… _him_, …._he_ was dead, had been now for 30 years.

But right when I was deciding that I'd finally stepped off the curb, _he_ talked.

"Leo, Raph, we need to talk."

Well, that didn't prove it was _him_, for all I know my jacked up hallucinations could talk.

But…..I remembered that voice. For years I'd locked that voice away, deep down, so the dark couldn't touch it. So it could remind me that things weren't always so shitty, that once, I'd had brothers that I loved and who loved me back.

That was also that voice that reminded me that I still did.

But as time dragged on, the pain and the death smothered the voice, til it wasn't much more than a whisper.

And then _he_ was helping me up, and the voice came back louder than ever, and before I even knew what I was doin' I was hugging _him_.

Not _him_,…Donnie! I was hugging Donnie!

He was alive!

After all this time, Donnie was back!

At the back of my mind I noticed that he looked pretty surprised. See, I never really hugged him like that before, never really told him how much I'd miss 'im if he ever went away, probly cause I never thought he would. But, he recovered quick and hugged me back, same old Donnie.

And then I did something I hadn't done in years.

I smiled.

I smiled like there was no tomorrow.

And then, apparently hell froze over, cause when I looked up, Leo was smiling too.

Who'd a thunk?

Leo talked then, said something like he couldn't believe it, but I wasn't really paying attention.

How could I?

My brother had just come back from the dead, and I sure as hell wasn't gonna let him go, mostly cause I was afraid if I let him go, he might just disappear for another thirty years and I didn't think I could handle that again. And you know what? Just like old times, Donnie seemed to know exactly what I was thinking and he kept one hand around my arm just to let me know that he wasn't going anywhere.

I smiled again (wow, twice in one day).

Then, a voice cut through the moment and as much as Donnie's voice reminded me of the good times, that voice reminded of the bad times.

That voice used to set up stupid punch lines and do crap imitations of movie stars and then real early in the morning it used to sing crap show tunes in the shower.

But that was a long time ago. I hadn't heard a crap Boggart impression from that voice in a long time, hadn't heard a show tune in even longer, and the only jokes I ever heard from him anymore were cutting and bitter.

Poor Mikey.

He used to be a regular old ray a' sunshine but the years had been hard on him. It was hard enough on him with Donnie and Master Splinter gone but when me and Leo left too….

We shouldna left.

Donnie's voice had told me that millions a' times ever since, but I was too angry and stubborn to listen. I coulda at least stayed with Mikey, but that was hard too, it made me sick to see my little brother so angry, so bitter, so much like me. He didn't deserve it, none of it. But every time I would think about going back, Mikey's voice would echo in my ears, hard and bitter, and his face would flash in my mind. Cheery grins had been replaced by sneers and shining, hopeful eyes were glazed and empty. And in the end, the bile would creep up my throat and I'd retreat, promising myself that maybe tomorrow I'd go home.

Course, I never did.

And now here he was and he was calling Donnie "brainiac" but his voice didn't hold any of the good-natured teasing it used to. But that wasn't the most interesting part of what Mikey had to say; Donnie wanted to go up against the Shredder.

I froze.

Now look, I ain't no coward, far from it, but going against the Shredder was impossible! He was too well protected; we couldn't get within a hundred yards of his slimy ass before we'd be torn to shit.

All of us knew that.

'Cept Donnie.

Even when me and Leo tried to tell him, he just frowned and shook his head. Even when we were listing off the Shredder's defenses he didn't seem real impressed, just frowned some more and did that thing with his brow that made him look like that Spock guy.

Then when even Stockman threw in his two cents Donnie just looked like he was getting annoyed.

That wasn't good.

That meant that Donnie had already decided that we were gonna go up against the Shredder, and once Donnie made his mind up about something it was impossible to talk him out of it. But what he was asking was impossible, couldn't be done, it was hopeless.

Wasn't it?

Course it was, there was too much security, it was impossible.

But something inside reminded me that ten minutes ago if you'da told me my brother was gonna suddenly reappear after thirty years, I'da said that was impossible. But here he was. And even as I told Donnie that the situation was hopeless, part of me wanted to believe it could be done.

Part of me wanted Donnie to announce some brilliant plan, for Mikey to crack a joke, and for Leo to go into full fearless leader mode.

But I knew it couldn't happen.

Donnie had otha' plans and he said the four words we all needed to hear.

"We can do this."

But it wasn't just _what _he said, it was _how_ he said it.

He said it like he believed it with every fiber of his being.

I hadn't believed in anything that strongly in a long time.

Least of all, myself.

But Donnie did, he believed in all of us. He believed that if we came together, we could beat anything and anyone, so I did the only thing I could do; I offered Leo my hand in camaraderie and after a second, Leo accepted my offer.

I didn't need to turn around to know that behind me, Mikey was smilin'.

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_Author's Note: Think it's great, and I should write more? Or do you think it's awful and I should be dipped in honey and buried in a hill of Texas fire ants? Let me know. Reviews are both welcomed and cherished; please let me know what you thought. Thanks!_


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